wild*life

Jakey has met his nemesis.  And her name is Emi.  I admit, not your usual nemesis name.

On the forms in the Teacher Linda C. binder there was one with silly kid categorization: flexible, fearful, feisty.  The “flexible” box was checked for Jake.  Without a doubt, Emi is feisty… and Jake is getting feistier.

Emilia is wicked smart and super cute.  She’s the only almost 2 year old that says everything with perfect clarity.  She knows what everything is.  I point to paintings on the window and she can yell out the right answer, without hesitation.  When compared to Emi, all the other little kids talk like they have peanut butter in their mouths.

She is definitely the alpha dog and Jake is oblivious to the fact that he is smaller, weaker, and wobblier.  The other day I went to pick him up and he walked up to Emi and pushed her in a very ungentlemanly way.  In one swift movement she put her hand on his chest and shoved him straight down on his padded bottom.  Flattened.

Last week we received our first incident report.  Jake fell while getting out of the sandbox and ended up with his first shiner.  Unfortunately, I don’t think his new “tougher” look did anything to intimidate his nemesis.  They have a love/hate relationship.  They kind of want to hug each other, but hugging and pushing are easily confused at this age.

I’ve told Jakey never to mess with Emi, but he just doesn’t listen.  Sometimes he tries to beat her on volume.  This would be impossible.  She has the ability to scream in such a way that it will knock your little blue shoe booties right off!  And now I think Emi has the power to possess the body of others.  I told you she’s wicked smart.  The other night I was convinced she had broken into our house and climbed into Jakey’s crib.  She was screaming her hysterical, insane scream.  A scream we’ve only heard at day care, never out of the mouth of our little bald housemate.

Now the mimic and the nemesis have joined forces.  The world may never be safe again.

I’m certain that we will look back on these days in skeptical wonderment.  We’ll say, “What?  There was a time when we thought “no” was cute?  Unheard of!  Impossible!  Ridiculous!”  (Yes, our future selves will be saying these things with a British accent as well.)

It started a month or two back.  Jakey would shake his head back and forth and growl.  Apparently Daddy taught him that doggie’s grab things with their teeth and shake their heads back and forth while growling.  Every time we’d say no Jake would smile and shake his head back and forth knowingly.  The fact that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing was completely lost on him.  He thought we were just playing the doggie game… all the time.

Now he’s started saying “no,” but in a cute way.  He seems to sense when we’re asking him questions and he’ll say “yeah” or “no” in a casual, conversational way.  “Jakey, is it bath time?”  “No.”  (But in the same way you might say, “nah”… not too loud, a comment in passing.  I’m sure the day is just around the corner when he’ll say it with gusto.

When I was about 3 this was my favorite word and I can still say it with the same feeling, oomph, pout and furrowed eyebrows.  NoooooOOOOOOOoooooooo MoOoM!

Till then, we’re going to enjoy these few weeks when “no” is still cute.

James is in Jake’s room putting his socks and shoes on in the morning before school.  Jaimie is in her bare feet.

Jaimie, “Ew.  What is on the bottom of my foot?”

James, “Where?”

Jaimie, “Is that what I think it is?”

James, “I couldn’t help it!  He had a conniption when I was changing his diaper.”

Jaimie, “You have got to be kidding me.”

I am convinced the makers of Kool-Aid have repackaged this forbidden childhood drink.  They are calling it VitaminWater and charging 2 bucks.  Don’t be fooled by the fancy, nutritious-sounding name.

Teacher Linda C.’s Jakey Binder is a blogging gold mine.  This picture forever commemorates the day Mommy forgot Jakey’s lunch on the counter…  So, I went to the “Grab & Go” to find baby friendly foods for a 9-month old.  What did I find?  A cheese platter featuring 2 butterfly crackers, Jake’s first strawberry, and pepper jack cheese.  Perfect.

At the time, we laughed unknowingly.  Ha ha ha!  He ate all the pepper jack cheese.  That Jakey.

This weekend we spent an afternoon in San Jose’s Japantown as I was doing some research for my other writing gig: James’ monthly mailing (http://www.jamesfucillo.com/building-character.asp).  Our Japantown is one of only three left in the United States!  If you want to learn more, keep your eyes peeled for the May edition of Building Character.  In any case, we decided the perfect evening would include sushi of course.

Jake was all smiles in the restaurant, probably in part because he loves all women who remotely resemble Teacher Linda C.  They began our meal with little complementary bowls of pickled or fermented bean sprouts of some kind.  Immediately, MO(re) started up in his primary colored high chair.  You want some of this?  OK.

He loved it.

The experiment was on.

Jake ate tofu.  Big bites of pickled ginger.  Tempura.  Bite after bite of raw tuna sashimi.  He was certain we were feeding him with drum sticks, which just made it all the more exciting.

A picture of Jake’s Japanese dinner buffet.

MO tuna MO sashimi MO raw MO fish.

The one and only thing Jacob spit out at dinner: white rice.

Wake-up.

 Baby lunch.  Tea.  Dishwasher.  Baba.  Shower.  Dress.

Jake-up.

Dump baby in big bed with Dada & baba.

Layout baby clothes.

Pack bag: baby lunch, sippy cup, extra milk, wallet, keys, badge, iPhone.

Commute.

School.

Work.

School.

Commute.

Baby hors d’oeuvres.  Dinner.  Bath time.  Dishwasher.

Wrestle.

Book.  Baba.  Love you’s.  Brush teeth.  Light switch.

Nigh nigh.

Repeat.

Last Friday, James called me at work.

“Jame, I’m so freaked out right now, I’m shaking.”

OMG.  Horrible thoughts are running through my head at lightening speed.  Are you OK?  Did something happen?  Was there an earthquake in the south bay that I didn’t feel at work and furniture has injured you in the home office?  Yes, this thought actually went through my mind in the millisecond that it took for him to say:

“Go to fucillofamily.com.”

Once again, the brain flashes.  Horrible thoughts of anonymous cyber messages threatening to steal my little kid…   I pull up our website and there’s a strange, generic landing page.  Huh?…   What happened?  Did the hosting company go out of business and take all of our information with it?

“They told me to update this software and it erased our blog.”

Poor James was so scared that he had lost 7 months of my random thoughts and ramblings.  I have the best husband ever.  I really do.

Today was my first Parent Teacher Conference.  I actually felt a little nervous on my way to the meeting… what if they save up all the naughty things he’s been doing and then spring them on you?  Does he revolt at nap time?  Is the food stealing getting out of hand?  Now that he can walk, is he grabbing toys and carefully toddling off like a drunk little thief?

As I’ve previously suspected, I had nothing to fear.  Jacob still has Teacher Linda C. right where he wants her… in the palm of his hand.   And of course, much to James’ satisfaction, she thinks he “learned” the new belly flop crying from one of his classmates.  She said he imitates everything.  EVERYTHING.  (Tonight he spent 15 minutes trying to open the kitchen cupboards, and the dishwasher, with every key on my keyring.  No, he hasn’t seen me doing this…)

Some of my favorite written comments from teacher Linda C.’s Jacob Evaluation Binder:

September 2009:

* Jake feels insecure when another child approaches him, he needs his “space.”  (The teachers at our school love quotation marks.  Every so often I get a note that says: Jake needs “diapers” and “wipes.”  I’m not quite sure what these quotes are supposed to signify.  Are these code words for something more sinister?)

* Jake enjoys kicking his little legs, over and over. (Yes, that would be Jake.  Ever since he’s had legs.)

March 2009:

* Good eater. (Based on the picture below, this might go down as the understatement of the year.)

* He will toss his head back and forth so teacher will not wipe his nose. (We are all trying to eliminate the booger mustache.)

* He enjoys chewing on books.  (Really, “enjoys”?)

* Excited when caregivers apply sunscreen because he knows it time for outside play.

* Cries when hungry and when in need of his bottle (especially when he sees the bottle).  (Hmmm, never experienced that before…)

The binder is full of all these great pictures of Jake at school.  I can’t believe this one– look at those cheeks!  My little striped bowling ball.  I love the caption: “excited”

Really?  That’s not what I’m getting from this picture… how about “stuffed”?!

04/13/10: Today is Jake’s 13 month Birthday Eve.  You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?

This date goes down in baby blogging history as the official date Jakey is walking.  Walking!  Soon the loud SLAP, SLAP, SLAP of his speed crawling will be a thing of the past.  Fortunately, we truly have no idea what we’re in for.

One day and Jake is now in charge of doing his own hair.  Chief Walker.  Chief Hair Stylist.  I knew this walking thing would only lead to him wanting to be in charge of everything…

Last night was the first time I’ve ever brushed Jakey’s hair.  Singular.  Just kidding!

Better, huh?