Last night… Jaimie: What’s that orange thing outside on the porch? James: A phone book. (pause) Add it to your blog… Apparently this is Week O’ the Diatribe. About five years ago, we looked at the three different phone books taking up space in our teensy weensy house and said–…
I just got the most overdue piece of mail from that innovator of all innovators, Pacific Gas & Electric. It appears that PG&E has just joined us in the 21st century… welcome! Unfortunately, for those economic data crunchers out there in dark rooms with big computers, there will be new…
Jacob is on the precipice of an addiction. Up until now, he’s been pretty nonchalant. Take it or leave it, whatever. But now, now I am sensing the beginnings of a Nuk addiction. James denies it… I have proof. Hi, my name is Jaimie and I’m a recovering Nukaholic. I’ve…
We are all guilty of prejudice. It’s human nature. And we all know that prejudging is generally negative and implies fear and intolerance. I must confess, I discriminate against sippy cups. Yes, it’s true. There are two kinds of sippy cups in this world: the good and the bad. The good…
When I was little, my brother was all about intent. If we were playing and he got hurt or something hit him he’d immediately cry, “She did it by PURPOSE!” Only it sounded more like “She did it by PORPOISE!” Like I had purposely hit him in the head with…
Dr. Nancy always has really good advice. My favorite is one of her go to’s: Don’t worry. Have you ever seen an adult walking around with X? (insert big belly button, whites of the eye that are gray, pink splotchy neck, etc.) I remind myself of this when the sunlight…
Jakey has met his nemesis. And her name is Emi. I admit, not your usual nemesis name. On the forms in the Teacher Linda C. binder there was one with silly kid categorization: flexible, fearful, feisty. The “flexible” box was checked for Jake. Without a doubt, Emi is feisty… and…
I’m certain that we will look back on these days in skeptical wonderment. We’ll say, “What? There was a time when we thought “no” was cute? Unheard of! Impossible! Ridiculous!” (Yes, our future selves will be saying these things with a British accent as well.) It started a month or…
James is in Jake’s room putting his socks and shoes on in the morning before school. Jaimie is in her bare feet. Jaimie, “Ew. What is on the bottom of my foot?” James, “Where?” Jaimie, “Is that what I think it is?” James, “I couldn’t help it! He had a…
I am convinced the makers of Kool-Aid have repackaged this forbidden childhood drink. They are calling it VitaminWater and charging 2 bucks. Don’t be fooled by the fancy, nutritious-sounding name.