Tweeny Bopper

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the days when we were up in the 5AM hour, happy that the first number glowing green in the darkness was not a 4.  On rainy winter days we’d find ourselves running the spacious halls at Valley Fair Mall, all the shops closed.  The only people we’d see were grandparents pushing strollers.  We wistfully imagined the children of those grandparents still tucked snugly in their beds.

And then the days that feel like they’ll last forever are behind you and in a heartbeat you’ve gone from toddlers to lower classmen to upper classmen.  Fourth grade is the elementary upper classmen cut-off, so I’ve gathered.

Jakey is nine years old and on the cusp of tweendom.  I started to freak out a little when JJ recently started sleeping in.  It was like 9AM on a Saturday and he hadn’t gotten up yet.  This kind of Saturday takes you straight back to the panicky “Is-he-breathing?” days of new parenthood.  Is it normal for a nine-year-old going-on-ten-year-old to sleep in already?  I’m not really quite ready for the tweens.  How quickly the concept of sleeping in can go from tantalizing to terrifying.

And then one weekend afternoon someone surreptitiously pulls me aside in the kitchen, whispering in my ear, one hand covering their mouth.

Coincidentally, we uncover Jake’s iPad and headphones hidden under the rolling toy crate in his bedroom.

I don’t confront him directly.  I must protect my source.  I put the iPads away safely for a few nights.  But then last night I forget and James tells me he hears Jake creeping around downstairs.

So naturally, I creep downstairs.  I open their bedroom door and the blankets are pulled up over Jacob’s headphoned head.  A sliver of green glows through the blue and white striped comforter.

He never hears me coming.  I remove the contraband and leave without a word.

False tweenager alarm… just an illegal iPad.

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