Back in our old neighborhood, we were known as “The Leg Lamp” house. For years after we moved, Plat and Clarence would post to our Facebook pages “We miss you Leg Lamp!”
We earned this rep because at Christmas time we’d proudly display our fishnetted Christmas Story lamp front and center in our big picture window facing the street. We’d giggle and wave as passing pedestrians would stop and take pictures or at the brake lights as cars slowed down for a long, appreciative look.
That said, there are many, many people out in the world who have somehow missed this decades-old movie. They haven’t stumbled across the repeating, 24-hour movie marathon where it plays over and over on TBS since 1997. During Prep & Landing, a fantastic 30-minute animated movie about elves, these people don’t notice the 10-second flash of Ralphie standing in the line for Santa as a weird kid wearing aviator goggles invades his personal space. They hear people say things like “You’ll shoot your eye out” and it just goes right over their heads. They never yell things like “Bumpuses!” And they don’t laugh appreciatively when someone’s opening a box and declares in fra-gee-lay.
Along these lines, we’ve endured several holiday guest visitors and an awkward exchange that goes something like this…
Andrea: Entering our house for the first time and being greeted by a table with the lamp proudly displayed front and center. “Wow, I like your lamp.”
Me: “Yeah, thanks. It’s our favorite holiday decoration.”
Andrea: “Mmmmm.” I detect more to this awkward pause.
Me: “You know this lamp from the movie, right?”
Andrea: “Which movie?” Followed by a fluttering, nervous laugh.
A warm wave of shame washes through me a little. Like, uh, what kind of taste and style do you think I have? An aesthetic that displays bawdy tasseled high-heeled lamps as an unexpected shot of living room design whimsy?
One evening this week I go looking for my iPad for a little evening reading. I find it in its pleasing red cover, open the front and find myself transported straight into the Christmas Story movie:
My mother, grabbing for her copy of Look magazine... would find herself cleverly trapped into reading a Red Ryder sales pitch.
But instead of an ad for a bebe gun, I find a three-part persuasive letter on why Jacob should be allowed to have the video game Fortnite. The front is labeled “To: Mom”.
I don’t think this movie is going to end as well as it did for Ralphie…
