One of the best Christmases of my childhood was the year I found a My Little Pony unicorn named Stardust under the tree. She was gold and sparkly and I poked a little hole in the wrapping paper so I could peer through it in anticipation every day. I loved My Little Ponies. LOVED. That very same Christmas I think I also got the My Little Pony barn that came with tiny jumping hurdles and saddles. My collection even included little baby ponies with teeny white velcro diapers and itty bitty baby bottles. Horse diapers? Little girl heaven.
I had this first grader fantasy where I was going to keep all my My Little Ponies until I grew-up so I could pass them on to my own kids. I would get some shelves and hang them on the wall and line my ponies up in rows so they would stay nice. Maybe I could even have little plaques with their names? These are totally the things I would think about when I was six.
And then I blink and I’m all grown-up and I have two little boys and no My Little Ponies. Instead, Jacob comes home a few days ago and teaches Nate this little rhyme… which I’ve now heard skeighty-eight times. Nate thinks it’s the new funniest thing ever. He just can’t get enough. His brain is stuck on replay:
My Little Pony
Ate some bologna
Went to the circus
Farted on purpose
Climbed up a tree
To pee on a bee.
(Emphasis added by Nate.)
This really wasn’t part of the dream.