No It All

Last night, more than 56 years since the last time they’ve won, the San Francisco Giants beat the Texas Rangers to take home the World Series title.

For two weeks, anytime Jake sees a TV, he points and says baseball, baseball!  All sports have turned into baseball.

And of course, he joined the “Fear the Beard” phenomenon, currently sweeping the nation.  Gooooooooo Giants!

It is November 1st.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to eliminate the nigh-nigh, completely.

(As I’ve previously written, Jake has developed a serious affinity for his nigh-nigh (aka, pacifier).  Lately, he overpronouces the “t”… someone at school has corrected him, “nigh-nighT!”)

Your first strategy, before implementating “Operation: Cold Turkey,” is to try the “cut a hole” in it method as detailed on the internet by thousands of expert strangers.

As always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.  This message will self-destruct in the event that the Operation is not successful within two weeks.  Most likely, you will self-destruct with it.

On that same pumpkin selection trip, we had an idyllic day planned.  Being an October baby, this is my favorite time of year.  I had visions of Jakey running through the pumpkin patch– super excited to see and touch all of the different pumpkins.  I dressed him up in autumnal colors, hoping to snap some potentially Christmas card-worthy shots.

We began the day with breakfast at Kelly’s (www.kellysfrenchbakery.com).  As always, she never disappoints.  Then we piled back in the car and drove up Highway 1, deciding we would stop at the best looking pumpkin patch we came across.  Of course the first one we saw looked good, but just like buying a house, you can’t buy the first one you see, can you?  We ended up driving all the way to Pescadero.  We weren’t hungry yet, but you can’t go to Pescadero without getting the cream of green chile soup at Duarte’s (www.duartestavern.com).  I got a large container with warm bread to go.

On the way back to the first pumpkin patch (yes, turns out that sometimes the first one you see is the one… as a realtor, James could have probably told me that), it started to rain.  Rain?!  October is our best time of year– was rain forecasted?

We pull-up to the pumpkin patch that we previously passed awash in sunshine, now under a steady drizzle.  And Jake is, of course, asleep.  He wakes up and I convince him it will be fun to walk through the pumpkin patch.  It’s on a slight hill.  He falls.  Now he’s wet and muddy.  This is when my idyllic vision hits the hard, cold wall of reality.

My son, who takes a bath every day, plus two showers (one with Mom, one with Dad), holds his little hands over his eyes like visors and chants, “Raining, raining.”  Tiny, barely perceptible raindrops have him cowering like he’s melting.  So I end up carrying this little squinting 28 pound bundle of muddy shoes around a 3 acre pumpkin patch.  He noticeably perks-up when we get out the enormous golf umbrella.  Of course he has to be in charge of holding it.

Yes, miraculously, we made it out with $30 worth of pumpkins and our eyes.  I guess there’s always next year.

It began with fountains.  Pictures of lakes.  A boat in a harbor on TV.  Maybe even a puddle.

Two weeks ago we were driving up Highway 1 on our way to pick pumpkins.  Jake looks out at the Pacific Ocean and exclaims, “Bath time!”

Every week at yoga, we share a highlight and lowlight.  Here are a few from the past month or so:

In September, I began a marathon plane journey back from DC.  I had originally chosen aisle seats for every leg of my trip.  I was making my way down the center aisle of the aircraft when I look up at the little diagram and realize my seat, E, is a center seat.  No, this is not yet the lowlight…

Lowlight: I get to my seat and, on either side, to use the words of one of my favorite authors, Alexander McCall Smith, are two traditionally built women.  The armrests could not be put down and I endured a flight squashed in like a sardine… touching the thighs of two strangers.

Highlight: It was the skinniest I’ve felt in months.

Highlight: My old neighbor told me that one of my sweater dress/tall boot maternity outfits was cute.

Highlight: A week or two later I ran into two of my old coworkers, including my dear administrative assistant, Rosemary.  I miss Rose!

Lowlight: When I told them I was pregnant, Rosemary said, “I thought you were just getting fat.”

Maybe I don’t miss Rose that much…

They say with the downturn in the economy, the new trend is moonlighting.  And of course, I am no exception to the treacheries of the worst recession since the great depression.  Just call me Maddie.

I’ve been moonlighting since July.  As a manicurist.  Though I prefer unlicensed nail technician.

I got into this business because it has such low start-up costs, and of course I had a competitive advantage– something that no one else was doing.  My secret?  I provide mani pedis to my client, in his sleep.  Imagine… you’re cuddled up in the comfort of your own bed and in the morning, you wake to find your finger and toenails perfectly clipped, shaped and buffed.  Brilliant, right?  I may even throw-in a little mini moisturizing facial.  I call my business: Mani Bedi.

Unfortunately, the tips aren’t really all they’re cracked-up to be.  And it seems it’s more of a volume business than I’d anticipated.  It’s going to be tough to turn a profit given my current business plan.  Even though I’ve almost doubled my client base in a few short months, if I’m ever going to get this enterprise into the black, I may have to rethink growing each of my customers from scratch.

When I was little I remember my mom always exclaiming, “Jaimie.  Quit.  Kicking.  Your.  Brother!”

The last few weeks I have literally been kicked, simultaneously, from both the inside out, and the outside in…  Does a spaghetti squash even have little feet?

When I was little, there was this dog that lived next door to my friend Nealy.  I remember it being really yippy and it would chase the car up the dirt road every time we drove up to her house.  For some reason she would call it Fang Doooooggie!  It must have had sharp teeth.  I could never really see out the window that well.  I think its real name was Levi.  How do I remember these things?…

Maybe a little over a month ago Jake got all of his fang teeth, pretty much at once.  I’m probably not supposed to say that my son has fangs.  Cuspids?  Though it is almost Halloween….

Fortunately I think we have just four more “second molars” to get through.  Uh oh, Fang Doggie just woke-up.

Apparently it’s carrot week for Baby Cillo– 3/4 of a pound and about 10.5 inches long.  Or as James put it, 3 quarter pounders?  Yes, I’m sure BabyCenter.com is about to roll-out a new version of their e-mails, providing baby development size estimates based on your favorite fast food: from McNugget to BK Stacker.

I’ve felt Cillo bumping around in there for several weeks, which is good.  Unlike Jakey, I don’t really know when I first felt the baby.  Not sure if this is normal, but when I wasn’t pregnant, sometimes I felt phantom kicks.  I know, weird, right?

I feel better now though.  I’ve always been a bit freaked out that you can have something the size of an heirloom tomato in your stomach and not even be able to feel it.  Freaky.

Tonight Jakey said his very first sentence.  The day after his 19-month birthday.  And it was:

Read me book.

I’m pleasantly surprised that it encompasses such a positive theme and behavior… even if it’s a little commanding and abrupt.

If I think about what I might have expected his first sentence to be, I probably would have said something like: Let me out.  Give me now.  or maybe… Buy me doggie!

I’m very happy with Read me book.