wild*life

Lately we’ve been utterly astounded by the memory of this three year old.  Case in point:

A few months ago James and Jake were up early and on their way out to the car.  It was still dark outside and Jakey asks, “Where’s the taxi car?  Are we going on an airplane, Daddy?”  Last time he left the house in the morning and it was dark outside was in May… when we took a taxi to the airport.  That was almost 9 months ago.

Last week James was getting the kiddos dressed and was pulling a shirt over Jake’s head that has a graphic picture of a french bulldog.  “Daddy, where are those people with the white truck?  And the doggie?”  He was remembering a morning in December when we met Alesia, Charles and their daughter Eleanor for coffee.  We walked them back to their truck to say goodbye and pet their french bulldog, Gallagher.

Then yesterday, James and I went to pick the boys up from school.  We saw Jake peeking out the window, wedged between the glass and the blinds.

Once inside, we began the new and lengthy process of wrangling him into leaving his new classroom, “Wait, I forgot somesing!  I need to get my car.”
“What car?”
“My orange car.”
“Where did you leave it?”
“It was in my cubby.  It’s missing!  Somebody taked it.”
“What orange car?”
“My orange car.  We got it at the milk shop.  Last time I had it.”
“The milk shop?”
“When we had smoodies.  Last time I put it in my cubby.”
“Smoothies?”
“It’s a sticker.  I had it right there.  Somebody taked it.  Last time…”
“Huh?  Is it a car or a sticker?”
“It’s a sticker.  It’s a puzzle!”
Now I’m completely puzzled.  Is he making this up as some kind of stalling tactic?  This is crazy talk.
“Is it a car, a sticker or a puzzle?”
“When we watched airplanes.”
“OK, I don’t know what we’re looking for.  You can find it tomorrow, let’s go.”
Frustration builds… insistent pleas follow.
Just in the nick of time, Daddy finds it on the window sill behind the blinds.

It’s a 3×3 inch square piece of paper… made up of stickers… that were a puzzle… that once placed properly, created a picture… of an orange car… parked in front of In ‘N Out Burger… where we drank milkshakes and watched airplanes… in October.

Probably about six months ago, Jakey and I were in his bottom bunk chatting before bedtime.  “Let’s talk ye-ster-day.  Whadwedo ye-ster-day?”

We’d been reading books and came across some racoons dressed as robbers.  Jakey says, “I be a bad man, Mama.”
“What?  No, you will never be a bad man.”
“Yes, I want to be a bad man.”
“No, you never want to be a bad man.  Do you mean Batman?  You want to be Batman?”
“I be a robber.”
“Robin?  Are you talking about Batman and Robin?”
I let it pass, hoping I’d misunderstood my 2 1/2 year old with aspirations of incarceration.

For the record, I’m now 100% sure he knew exactly what he was saying.

Tonight we’re driving home after he’d been playing with Costa who’d been pretending to be a bad guy.  “I’m a bad guy, Mama.”
“No, JJ, you were just pretending to be a bad guy.  You’re not a bad guy.”
“Yes, I was pretending.  I’m not a bad guy Mama.  I’m a nice guy.”

Yes, yes you are.

Last weekend it was disturbingly quiet.  I found Nate in the bathroom, surrounded by what used to be an entire roll of toilet paper, reading magazines.

On Friday during our last parent/teacher conference, Noemi told me Nate has exceptional patience and focus.

In January I was up in the city, in the ballroom of the Palace Hotel, prepping for the rehearsal of our annual department awards show.  I was gathering-up my things from under the table, I look down, and there is a Cheerio resting on the patterned carpet designed to walk that fine line between tasteful and hideous.  A Cheerio.  I totally tried to pretend like I didn’t see it and it must have been left behind by some 400 person baby breakfast held earlier that day.

A few weeks later, James had to work so the boys and I met Grandma and Granddad at Gayle’s for gourmet goodies followed by grass and gophers.  Granddad volunteered to put Nate’s leftover apple sauce in his cooler and then told me he’d forgotten it at the bakery.

The next evening I find James peering out the front window at my car, sitting in the driveway.
“What’s that on top of your car?”
“Hmmm, what is that?”

Turns out I’d been driving around with an open container of organic apple sauce on the top of my car for two days.

Then about two weeks ago I was getting ready for work in the morning.  One of the last things I usually do is forage around for my watch.  I’m about to put it on and notice the glass is all smeared and sticky.  Before applying important critical thinking skills, I bring the watch up to my nose and smell it…

BBQ sauce.  In hindsight, this is probably a fairytale ending to this story.

I’m super excited to report: I have a new BFF.  He’s the perfect Best Friend Forever.  Here’s a list of of why we’re inseparable:

• He’s super fun: “Drive faster!”  “Louder.  I want cowboy music.  Louder!”
• He’s very handy… and I always have a long list of projects: “I can fix anything, Mama.”
• We both have the same favorite color: “I like green best.”
• We both like to eat: “I can eat spicy food, Mama.”  This weekend he finished his dad’s lox.
• He’s always there to protect me: “I will scratch him with my sharp claws.”  (Hands poised menacingly.)
• He’s highly talented… he’s taught himself to use chopsticks. (His trick?  Just don’t break the wooden chopsticks apart.)
• He’s really funny: “If you eat an orange.  You’ll turn into an orange!  If you eat pajamas, you’ll turn into pajamas!”
• He has perfect hair, and also loves to get ready with me in the morning: “I need my make-up to look pretty for school.”
• And he’s generous.  He gives me special pink flowers every weekend: “Here Mom, I bought this for you at my work in Santa Cruz.” (And by his work in Santa Cruz he means the camellia bush in the backyard.)

“You’re my best friend, Mama.”  And then he gives me the sweetest kiss.  Have you ever heard anything better?  “And Daddy and Nake, too.”  Well, at least I’m in good company.

Jakey and Natesy had their first joint birthday party this weekend.  It was 70 degrees, there were ponies, an alpaca, a log cabin, family, great friends and cupcakes.  Perfect.

If Nate ever becomes a rapper… after he finishes college of course… his stage name should be Baby Nake-D.

Am I right?

I’ve been in a bit of a funk this past week.  I think it’s because tomorrow, my little baby, turns 1!

One year old is definitely the tipping point where you look at them and all of a sudden you think, “Awww, he looks like a little boy.”  With Jakey I got extra time because he really didn’t have any hair.  It prolonged babyhood for just a bit.  But Natesy got his very first haircut from Toni on February 13th… just 17 days shy of his birthday.  I think Jake’s first haircut was just a week or two shy of his second birthday.  Granted she only charged us $5 and Natesy still has less hair than his cousin Devon was born with, but still, he won’t be a baby for very much longer.

Just in the past couple of weeks he’s started to show signs of the teenage years of toddlerhood.  He does this new thing where he lays flat on his stomach, stretches his arms out and cries.  You have to be careful not to laugh.  And he’s started shaking his head no.  You know you’re entering a new phase when he thinks it’s hilarious to shake his head no.

Today, Teacher Linda W. said he’s been standing in his crib, jumping and shaking the bars so hard that they think it’s a safety hazard.  Let’s not forget, Nakezilla is the calm one.

Tomorrow they’re going to teach him to sleep on a big boy cot at naptime.  *sigh*

This afternoon, Nakesy worked on breaking into the Mickey Mouse lunchbox for at least 20 minutes, maybe 30.  This one has amazing concentration.

He tried fiddling with the latch.  He tried turning it over and over and over… listening to the teeny tiny swallowable riches held within its tinny walls.  He even dropped it off the couch, like a monkey with a coconut.

He knows how to turn off light switches, he’s got combs and toilet flushers figured out.  Mickey doesn’t stand a chance.

On July 5th, 2010, I wrote about a regular sized tube of sparkly toothpaste that I thought Jake would be eating, I mean brushing with, till he was 18.  I’m a bit delayed in running these numbers, however, it looks as though my initial calculations were wrong.

He was able to use up the entire tube in 18 months.  Hmmm.  Now that I look at it, I did say 18…

I also just replaced his toothbrush with an Oral B designed for kiddos.  The packaging says in bold, and I quote, “For tooth brushing only.  Do not chew or bite on brush.”

I’m going to have to find a new go-to brand.  This one was clearly field tested in La La Land.