wild*life

Just when we thought Nathaniel’s vocabulary had devolved into a single word, “agua,” it has reversed course and evolved substantially in less than two days.

Wednesday evening, his jazz hands sign language was accompanied by the actual words, “All done!”  Well, maybe it was “All da!”  But still, that is practically a phrase.  Then, on Thursday morning before we left for Dr. Antsy’s, Natesy blurted out the words “belly button!” clear as day.  And in the doctor’s office, he pointed to the drawer of the exam table where she keeps kid books and exclaimed, “Open it!”

After that string of progress, it seems his vocabulary has plateaued again: “Open it” is the new “Agua.”

On Thursday I took Natesy to Dr. Antsy’s for his 15-month well-baby check-up.  Yes, he’s 16 months and is currently a snot factory… I do my best.

So I’m filling out the questionnaire and it asks things like:
“Can your child walk?”  Check.
“Can your child run?”  Check.
“Does your child know some body parts?”  Hmmm.

“Natesy, where’s your head?”  His little chubby hand slaps the side of his head confidently.  Phew.  The question is clearly plural and I know he knows belly button… Check!

(I’m kind of behind from an electronic medical records perspective.  I’m not really alone… I’d say the entire human race is behind on that front.)

12 Month Baby Stats:
Weight: 23 lbs 13.3 oz: 60.95% (down from 76.30%)
Height: 2’6″: 49.71% (down from 59.91%)
Head Circumference: 46.8cm: 58.49% (up from 56.72%)

16 Month Baby Stats:
Weight: 25 lbs 14.1 oz: 80% (up from 60.95%)
Height: 2′ 8.25″, 64% (up from 49.71%)
Head Circumference: 48cm, 72.56% (up from 58.49%)

Come to think of it, Heineken has always been one of Granddad’s favorite beers.  And speaking of beer…

Last weekend we’re all at the dinner table and the big one says to me, “Mama, is Jacob big enough to have beer yet?”  It seems he thought posing this question in the third person may get him the answer he’s looking for…

The next night James gives him a nice big glug of his beer.  Jakey raises his face, brushing his cheek thoughtfully, “See Dad, beard.  Beard.”

This morning’s conversation in Mommy and Daddy’s bed, post sippy-cups:

Mama: “Natesy, sit down on your bottom.  We do not stand in bed.”

Jacob: “On your heinie, Nake!”

Mama: “Who taught you that word?”

Jacob: “Granddad.”

Mama: “I knew you were gonna say that.”

Once upon a time, in a town not so far away, there was a boy named Jacob.  He was a very smart little boy– he always tried very hard and never gave up because he knew that’s what would make him smarter and smarter.  And he ate lots of lettuce to grow big and strong.

So one day, Jacob was playing at school by himself in the playhouse.  He was grilling pizza and preparing hot tea when he heard a cry for help.

(Loud crying)  “Oooooowwweeeeeeee!  I bonked my head.”  (sniff, sniff)

Jacob heard the crying and knew it was a job for SUPER Jake!”

Inside the playhouse, he spun around three times (swooh, swooh, swooh) and emerged… wearing green jet shoes, a jet pack, his flowing green cape, and his swoopy super hair.

Super Jake flew into the air and scanned the playground with his far-away eyes.  Who was calling for help?  Suddenly, he zeroed-in on the trouble: Clarky had zoomed down the slide too fast, landed on his bottom, and bonked his head.  He was crying and needed help.

Super Jake swooped down, landed by the injured boy and declared in his deep, super voice, “Don’t worry Clarky– Super Jake is HERE to SAVE the DAY.”

“It looks like you’ve fallen off the slide and bonked your head.  I bet it hurts so bad.  I will go get a teacher and some ice.”  Super Jake flew off to get Miss Leti and then ran faster than a speeding race car to the freezer for an ice cube and a paper towel.  He soared back to Clarky as Miss Leti was helping him to his feet.

Super Jake gave Clarky the ice, made sure he was OK and “bumped-it” farewell.  “My job is done here.  Super Jake is off to help kids and rescue animals everywhere!”  Miss Leti called, “Thank you sir!”  And he flew into the sky and was gone.

Super Jake swooped back in (there’s a lot of swooping when you’re a super hero) through the backdoor of the playhouse when no one was looking.  He quickly spun around three times (swooh, swooh, swooh) and he suddenly had on his trail shoes, his jet pack was gone, his cape had disappeared, and he had regular curly hair again.

Jacob wandered out of the playhouse with a look of bewilderment.  “What’s happening?”  The group of kids on the playground gathered around him, “You just missed Super Jake!  He was here and he helped to save Clarky.  Where were you?”

Jacob shook his head, “Man, I always miss Super Jake.  I was just grilling pizza in the playhouse.  Maybe next time…”

And no one knew, the secret identity of Super Jake.

The End

I recently got out my all-time, number one, favorite baby book for Nake.  It’s called Yummy Yucky by Leslie Patricelli and it’s suspenseful, relatable and one of the funniest books we own.  Really.  We flipped through the pages that originally endeared us, given its likeness to Baby Jacob… Blueberries: Yummy!  Blue crayons: Yucky.

Then we got out the newest addition to our Patricelli library, No no Yes yes.  Jake was instantly drawn-in to this modern classic.  “no No (screaming wildly and running away from Daddy), yes Yes (holding Daddy’s hand and walking at a leisurely pace).”

We turn the page and I say, “no No…”

Jacob fills-in, “Putting your finger up your nose.”  And then adds, nodding his head decidedly, “Only Daddy.  Only Daddy, can put his finger up your nose.”

no No yes Yes by Leslie Patricelli

Breaking News… Breaking News… Breaking News… Breaking News… Breaking News… Breaking News…

I’m going to go out on a limb, CNN-post-Supreme-Court-Obamacare-decision-style, and declare Jacob OFFICIALLY POTTY TRAINED.  Sure, I’m tempting fate.  But I just ate a chocolate chip cookie and I’m feeling daring.

He jumps up and heads to the bathroom without prompting.  He lets us know when he has to go.  He mastered the art of the roadside and “off the deck” during our recent trip.  And I’ve lost count of the days since our last plastic baggie dirty clothes care package from school.

Now, we still talk him into a Lightning McQueen pull-up every night.  But that’s more about our laundry reduction initiative than our commode coaching campaign.  Someday we’ll worry about weaning me off of pull-ups.

Based on a quick review of my incredibly handy baby blog records, Jacob used his potty for the first time on January 23, 2011.  Just 535 short days from introduction… to success.

They say the first one teaches the second one.  You’ve heard them say that, right?  Hello?

I guess Miss Dulce doesn’t think her messages are getting through via the typical channels…

When I was little, I remember my mom worrying that my brother might have diabetes because the kid was constantly glugging down water.  It turned out he was just thirsty.

Lately, it’s crossed my mind with Nake.  I just spent more than a week where I must have heard the word “agua” skeighty-eight times.  I think that’s all he said to me over the course of our entire vacation.  Then I had an epiphany:

Agua no longer means water.  It now means anything you consume.  As in, “I want another slice of that agua.”  Or, “pass me more agua on the cob.”  Or, “Agua on the rocks… make it a double.”