wild*life

I know yesterday was a sad, sad day for the Bay Area.  Fortunately or unfortunately, the existence of two preschoolers in your home means that you generally do not watch hours of televised sports… unless you want to incite additional leaping and tackling and new and exciting methods of head injury.

So I caught the last few minutes of the playoff game between the Niners and the Seahawks as I was waiting for my soccer game to start.  And in honor of America’s favorite contact sport, we have a review of the second book in the Miss Nelson trio (which was previously missing but has now been found), Miss Nelson has a Field Day, by Harry Allard and James Marshall.

In a nutshell: The story starts with a depressed school of students moping around all day.  Why are they depressed?  Their beloved Forty Niners, I mean Tornadoes, are losing.  And it appears this book takes place in Texas, so you know… things are bad.  The football coach has a nervous breakdown and everyone begins succession planning.  Miss Viola Swamp’s name is bandied about and fortunately, Miss Nelson overhears the discussion.

The team decides they’re going to really give their new coach “the business,” which is clearly why the Tornadoes are so bad to begin with.  But of course Miss Swamp shows-up in a black sweatsuit and whips those whippersnappers into shape.  Mr. Blandsworth, the school principal, tries to do some digging as to why this witch shows-up every time he has a problem, but Miss Nelson doesn’t have any answers.  On page 27, the plot takes a dramatic turn when we catch a picture of the school building with Miss Nelson in an upstairs window, and Miss Swamp in the window below… dun DUN dun.

Thanks to Coach Swamp, on Thanksgiving the Tornadoes clobber the Werewolves and Miss Nelson returns home.  We finally figure out the mystery as the story closes with Miss Nelson relaxing in her bed.  Over a cup of tea and some light reading, Miss Nelson thanks her identical twin sister, Barbara, for helping her out.

Families can talk about: What does it mean to give someone the business?  Is that respectful?  Why did Coach Armstrong “crack up”?  Does that mean he cracked his arm?  What is eavesdropping?  And what is laughing someone off the field?  How did Coach Swamp get the team to work hard and work together?  Did it pay off?  Do you think Miss Nelson is the Swamp and Barbara is Miss Nelson?  Or is Barbara the Swamp and Miss Nelson is Miss Nelson?  Are you still following?

It seems there are three books in the Miss Nelson series by Harry Allard and James Marshall.  I was going to share my thoughts on the sequel to Miss Nelson is Missing… however it appears Miss Nelson Has a Field Day is now Missing.  So we’re going to skip forward to Miss Nelson is Back.

In a nutshell: Miss Nelson gets tonsillitis and has to be out for a week.  Her class seizes on the opportunity to act out, but are warned by a now older, yet still beady-eyed redhead wearing a new version of the shirt he wore two grades ago… and pink cowboy boots.  They dread that their substitute will be the Swamp, but instead, it’s the dull, bunny-toothed principal Mr. Blandsworth.  After days of goldfish slide shows, shadow puppets and a brush with ball point pens of the world, Miss Nelson’s kids hatch a plan.  They develop a Miss Nelson costume that can be worn by three kids sitting on each other’s shoulders.  Mr. Blandsworth, aka Mr. Blindsworth, is fooled and the kids enjoy an afternoon on the town.  Their fun is spoiled when they make the mistake of walking past Miss Nelson’s house with “Miss Nelson.”  A scratchy-voiced Viola Swamp shows-up at school to whip the class back into shape and they regret trying to get rid of Mr. Blindsworth.  In the end, Miss Nelson returns to basque in the gratitude of her now thankful kids.

Families can talk about: How might a substitute teacher feel about teaching a new class… nervous?  Shy?  How should you behave for a substitute teacher?  What does it mean to “dust erasers?”  Why is the pretend Miss Nelson so lumpy?  Should a substitute just do bird calls and card tricks all day?  Is that teaching?  How can Miss Nelson change her nail polish from black to pink in less than a minute?  Why is Mommy’s scary witch voice so authentically realistic?  Is the Swamp really Miss Nelson, or her twin sister Barbara?

We may never know…

Just before the holiday I was doing some last minute shopping at one of my favorite stores, Paper Source.  Their motto is Do something creative every day.  I wish that was my motto… but sometimes I just want to watch TV.

During this shopping trip, I knew the book elf was still several tomes shy and so I picked-up the 50th anniversary retrospective of How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Antsy.  Nah… that’s just a little trick I use to make sure people are paying attention during story time.  Not only is it a great Dr. Seuss classic, but it looks significantly longer than it is due to the added history and commentary in the back.  You might be able to sell it as a “long” story, equivalent to two normal bedtime books.

In a nutshell: You should already know the story of the Grinch unless you’ve been living on Mars or something.  Even then, you should recognize your martian brethren renamed as the Whos.

This book is especially popular with the backseat drivers in our car who incessantly demand the Grinch song as though our radio is On Demand.  James is more of a Dominique the Donkey kind of guy and I’m partial to Here Comes Suzy Snowflake.  Though I do have to admit there is no line I like to sing with more gusto than You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich… with arsenic SAUCE dadadaDAdun dadadaDAdun.

If I’d been part of the final editing team, I would have counseled Dr. Seuss to omit the rhyme “Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!”  It completely destroys the flow of the story and disrupts my uncanny Jim Carrey impersonation when my audience is lost to a fit of potty talk giggles.  But of course, no one asked me.  Restroom references aside, the story’s heartwarming message that Christmas doesn’t come from a store makes this one of the best holiday books around.

Families can talk about: What is a grinch… is he a monster?  An earless, hatless cat?  Cousin of the BOFA on the SOFA?  And where exactly are his pants?  Is it a good idea to go pants-less in the snow?  Or without a jacket while only wearing a short-sleeved Superman shirt?  How would you feel if Santa didn’t bring any presents?  What is a liar and why is it wrong to lie?  Is chimbley really a word?

It seems the book elf made all of his promised stops… except he took off Christmas Eve.  He had to work that night, understandably.  There were toys to be wrapped, logistics to be prepped for Santa, cookies to be tested.  Fortunately Jake was very understanding.

And then after all the holiday hubbub, I got caught-up in Orange is the New Black.  And if you’ve seen that show then you know that it’s not one of those shows you can half watch while you blog.  But now I’ve watched it all and Christmas vacation is over and before I can catch you up on the latest haps, I’ve got to finish my book report project.  Plus James is watching House of Cards now and sorry Mom, it’s just not as riveting as the drama of a minimum security women’s penitentiary.  Actually, it’s perfect for blogging.

And on that note, next up in our book series is a story about a woman who stays out of trouble and politics, Miss Rumphius, by Barbara Cooney.  This was a recommendation by my friend Emily and her treasure trove of lovely and whimsical stories from the 1980’s, one of my favorite decades.

In a nutshell: Miss Rumphius is the story of a little girl who’s grandfather tells her there are three things she must do when she grows up: go to faraway places, live beside the sea, and do something to make the world more beautiful.  Through the story, she grows-up and works as a librarian, visits Indonesia and climbs mountains, and then somewhere near North Africa, hurts her back.  So she moves to a picturesque cottage by the sea.  And finally, to fulfill the third requisite from her grandfather, she sows lupine seeds all around town, making the world a more beautiful place.

Families can talk about: What far away places do you want to visit?  What is a librarian and what do they do?  How does Miss Rumphius fund her world travels?  Is it likely she can do this on the savings of a career librarian or is it possible she’s a trust-fund baby?  Are lupines native to Maine?  If not, what are the dangers of spreading non-native species?  What will you do to make the world more beautiful… you know, besides just being cute?

Miss Rumphius, by Barbara Cooney.

Lately I feel a bit overwhelmed by all of the life lessons we’re responsible for teaching these two little boys with invisible cotton in their ears.  I’m tempted to make a checklist.  It usually hits me when I’m blow drying my bangs.  I find myself subconsciously re-reading the tag on my hair dryer: Red Alert: WARN CHILDREN OF THE RISK OF DEATH BY ELECTRIC SHOCK!

And then my mind starts to wander and I think about rewarning them not to put things around their necks… especially mini blind cords, and not to put their heads in plastic bags, and not to climb into empty refrigerators, or Coleman coolers, and not to eat Tide soap pods or Finish dish washing tabs or 100 vitamins, and not to run into streets or parking lots and not to stick anything into electrical outlets, and not to throw anything at large plate glass windows.  The list of “nots” goes on and on and on.

Unfortunately, the list of “nots” doesn’t even include the general “don’t ruin our house” things like don’t draw with pens near the leather chairs, and don’t hang on the silverware drawer, and don’t repeatedly crash wagons into the trim, and don’t play with metal garden tools on our wood floors.

Then there’s bodily harm lessons around not playing tug-of-war-ever-with-anything, and we don’t kick, hit, push, scratch, bite or tackle.

At some point we also have to get in the whole values piece with the importance of health and persistence and relationships and the “it’s easier to get a job when you have a job” business.

Somewhere in between bodily harm and how not to get kicked-out of college are the general manners lessons… and fortunately I stumbled upon one such book called My Mouth is a Volcano, by Julia Cook, illustrations by Carrie Hartman.  As you may be able to guess, this story is about interrupting, not hot lava… which may disappoint some young listeners.

Based on the back cover artwork, it appears to be part of a series on “Children’s/Life Skills.”  I’ll have to do some research on that.  How amazing would it be to find a clever, beautifully illustrated story with an intreaguing plot that also communicated the “never eat mushrooms you find” life lesson?!  Two birds, one stone.  Now that would be my kind of series.

Until then, it’s one life lesson at a time.  Why not start with interrupting?

In a nutshell: The story starts out with a homely tic-tac toothed boy named Louis who is reminiscent of the Pirates Don’t Change Diapers series.  He describes what it feels like when his words work their way through his body until he just can’t hold them back, spewing them like a volcano into every conversation.  He gets a taste of his own medicine when two kids interrupt his sharing presentation at school.  His mom teaches him a great technique for dealing with the natural human desire to share your own story when you hear something that reminds you of your own experiences.

Overall it’s a simple story that does a nice job of not only teaching why interrupting is rude and how it makes people feel, but also provides a clever way of dealing with it.

Families can talk about: When is interrupting allowed?  What can you say if someone doesn’t realize they’re interrupting you?  What are other important manners?  Do you know a good orthodontist we can refer to Louis?

My Mouth is a Volcano, by Julia Cook, illustrations by Carrie Hartman.

For the record, we had a night where the book elf was called and we had to cancel his nightly drop-off due to naughty behavior, which explains one night when I got a reprieve from self-imposed book reports.  The other nights probably have equally valid reasons that sound better in my head.  Project Runway All Stars just doesn’t look as convincing in print.

So a few weeks back, when I was doing my kid lit research and asking for suggestions, I got some great new empowered female protagonist recommendations.  I think it’s very VERY important that we inject plenty of smart, creative, strong-willed girls into the lives of Team Testosterone and so I picked-up Violet the Pilot by Steve Breen.  This is one of James’ new faves.

And speaking of smart, strong-willed females, I’m also pleased that Jake’s best friend Helen is definitely a bit of a tomboy.  Last weekend Jake held his own as the only male invitee at Helen’s tea party dance party birthday party.  He seemed quite comfortable being surrounded by princess dresses.  But then he was sucked-into the allure of electronic ogres punching rocks.  Helen’s older brothers introduced him to video games, and the finer points of negotiating which “guy” you get to be with a thirteen-year-old.  Lately we get quite a few requests for My Little Pony, Care Bears and Sofia the First afternoon cartoons.  But, our dolly, Baby Cillo, hasn’t been loved since the night earlier this year when Addison came to visit and in less than five minutes had pulled our one and only doll baby out of the depths of toy chest obscurity.

OK, back to girl power.

In a nutshell: Violet is a mechanical genius who lives next door to a junkyard and is able to build fully functioning airplanes out of spatulas and row boats.  She doesn’t have any friends, except her dog Orville, and the kids at school like to bully her.  One day she sees an advertisement for an air show that happens to take place on the date of my birthday.  (It’s a bit uncanny how these fortuitous details keep showing up in the books I’ve chosen.  Further cementing my favorite color, my birthday… all sorts of things I need to be sure to drum into their malleable little heads.)  Spoiler alert: In the end, Violet doesn’t get to fly in the air show, but she wins an award and recognition from her entire community by saving a troop of drowning Boy Scouts in her latest homemade jet.

This book hits on all sorts of important topics including bullying, engineering, community service, and feasibility.  The illustrations are super cute.  Kids like pictures of people with bugs in their teeth.  It’s still unclear to me if the bully twins are also in the boating accident.  I’d recommend discussing this with your book club.  I find the end of the story takes kind of a strange, unexpected twist that leaves me wondering if it should end differently?  Maybe it’s just me.

Families can talk about: What is bullying and what should you say and do?  Can kids really build real airplanes that fly out of household objects?  Even if you think it will fly, is it a good idea to jump off of anything high?  What could happen?  What is the FAA?  And with young listeners, is Violet a piLot or a piRate?

Illustration courtesy of Violet the Pilot by Steve Breen.