New Testament
And to thee who are eager to bring forth thine own progeny, the holy one proclaimed, “Get used to it.” Book of Jaimie 1:15-11
Author: Jaimie
40 Days and 40 Nights
A submission from Uncle Geoff: For 40 Days and 40 Nights the plague descended upon the House of Purnell… And the Lord did punish them for they had obviously disregarded the Sabbaths while in Yosemite. For nay that they were pious, the Lord was displeased that they had worshiped false…
33 Weeks: Pineapple
What does it feel like to be 8 months pregnant? I’d say it feels like eating the biggest Thanksgiving dinner you’ve ever eaten. And then swallowing a pineapple. Whole. And then, the pineapple somehow, miraculously (or freakishly) comes alive… perpetually squirming and fidgeting. And even though you couldn’t feel any…
Mommy: A Poem
I am a personal cradle. A mommy treehouse, a bed railing, a custom pillow. I am a human elevator. A pack mule, A lunch wagon, a jungle gym. I am a deluxe chair. An electric toothbrush, a waste management specialist, a personal assistant. I am not a horsey. I’m not.
32 Weeks: Jicama
I’m behind on my produce blogging… and who can believe that as I write about little Baby Jicama, they have little baby hiccups. Jicamups?
Father Christmas
I’d say it’s been six weeks, at most, since we introduced the concept of Santa. This is truly a nanosecond in comparison to other concepts such as not hitting, not throwing, and go back to sleep. Jacob sees Santa ev-ree-where. He can spot him a mile away. He sees miniature…
Free Association
Last night we had Melissa, Nate and Baby Charlotte over for dinner. Charlotte is just 10 weeks old and absolutely beautiful. Jake was doing really well saying her name, “Charlotte, Baby Charlotte.” It was really cute. Then toward the end of dinner, he’s looking at me and he says, “Charlotte,…
Numbers 2
Last night during bath time we were playing with the “numbers, numbers.” He shows me the “L”. “Shoe, Mama, shoe.” Huh. That serif type font does look like a leg with a shoe. I definitely need to work on my creativity.
Puppeteer
In October I noticed Jake was starting to get a little pushy. I mean, pushier than usual. Perhaps physically ambitious is a better descriptor. On the airplane to DC, he took my hand and used it to make the window shade go up and down. Then he started grabbing my…
Devolution
We’ve encountered a strange phenomenon with our little Chatty Cathy (not sure what the boy version would be… Chatty Chester?) In any case, words that were perfectly pronounced in the beginning, have transformed, sometimes in dramatically (and potentially offensive) ways. A sampling of the vocabulary metamorphosis: ball -> baseball ->…