Unihorn

When I was living in Spain I was highly atuned to language– both English and Spanish.  I was always noticing phrases, sayings, colloquialisms.  And now that we have a walking, talking 2 love, my language radar is up again.  All of a sudden I notice the inaccuracies of words like babysitter… and the inopportune message it might send to both parties.  You’re a big boy, not a baby!  And I’m not paying $10 an hour for you to “sit.”

You start to wonder why you drive screws with a screw driver, but we don’t have a naildriver.  Flashlight, cupcake, pigsty, unicorn.  James pointed out that he’s always wondered why it isn’t “unihorn”… why didn’t I think of that?

Two morning ago, I’m warming-up milk for Jake at 5-something am with one eye open.  He’s standing in the doorway and he asks, “Mama, where’s Jacob’s dumbkicks?”

“Dumbkicks?  I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Dumbkicks.  Like this.”  And then he takes his little fingers and drums them on the doorjamb to show me what he’s talking about…  Ah.  Drumsticks.

A few minutes later, “Where’s phonesticks?  Where’s Jacob’s phonesticks at?”

“Phonesticks?”  It’s early.  I can’t really imagine what phonesticks might be.  I take my hot tea and sit on the couch with my eyes shut.

Jakey holds up his xylophone and his block with a mini xlyophone inside.

“Look Mama, two of ’em.  Two xlyophones.  Phonesticks!”  And he begins a 5am xlyophone wake-up ballad with his “phonesticks.”