Personal hygiene has been a running theme for many years at this point, though we’ve long since stopped with the second parental tooth brushing and I do not fall for the “smell my armpits” schtick. Armpits have been a “development” opportunity for several years now. The turning point was definitely before the pandemic. I remember picking up Nate and Cruz and Finn from school for baseball practice and they steamed up my car. The windows literally fogged up with their little boy stinkiness. And that was when we introduced deodorant.
We started with Schmidt’s which smells great, but apparently just causes sweat to run down your sides. I just got Jacob some Native in coconut and he’s been quite complimentary. Although last week I mention it and Jake tells me, “Buy me Old Spice.” Seriously? Do my children smoke pipes in bathrobes?
We drive across town and get Nate, then drop him at soccer. I don’t know exactly how it comes up but in a split second the kid says, “ Mom, get me Old Spice.” Sheesh, their ad dollars are hard at work.
That night I’m watching TV and an Old Spice ad comes on, somehow identifying that I have all the purchasing power. It’s some kind of Thor-looking guy with long blond locks. There is another guy hanging onto a pipe by one hand or he will fall to his death. The Thor guy’s armpit literally starts “shooting” sweat like a hose from under his arm onto the guy with the perilous grip. It’s dis-gus-ting. I almost can’t think of something grosser and less likely to get my hard earned money.
And let’s be real. Those deodorant ads should be for me. You know what I mean…