Our trip to England began with folly and fell face first into food. Jacob’s fourteen and his interests are eating and sleeping. And eating. So, I embarked on the spontaneous planning of a Man City Mother Son Food Tour.
Now it’s important to note the following Eighthgradeish ranking scale:
- Fire: This is the best. Can be used for all things, not just food.
- Bussin’: A term only used for food… also means really good.
- Mid: Despite your intuition, this means bad where we’re from. It may mean average in other regions according to one data point out of Redwood City.
Before we left for England, all the boys could talk about was beans on toast. Beans on toast is gross. How can they eat beans on toast?? I heard they have beans on toast for breakfast. YouTube must have a glitch in their algorithm, reducing British cuisine to this one dish and serving it up to American teens for breakfast, lunch, and tea.
I’m happy to report England has upped her food game. Like, Napa better-watch-its-back good. We had delicious, fresh, creative food we’ll be talking about for years. And let’s just say my restaurant research involved speed and decisiveness. I like spontaneity and surprise in my European wander holidays. A recap of our calories:
Harrods Food Hall | London: Imagine a department store filled with just the glass cases at Whole Paycheck. A place where everything has gold leaf on top to delight tourists and twelve-year-olds. We had a 20-layer smoked salmon gateau, a beautifully composed salad Nicoise, a beet salad I don’t remember because Jacob inhaled it, and an array of desserts including the aforementioned Eton Mess. Jake can’t stand how many times I’ve repeated the words Eton Mess which, of course, just makes me say it more.
Dishoom | London: This place is all the rage in America. Or at least with recommenders out of Santa Cruz. Both Angela and I got multiple endorsements to visit this trendy joint. They have nine locations. While I loved my India Gimlet cocktail, Geoff, Nate and I enjoyed dessert the most. If mid meant mid, that’s what I’d rate it.
The Wolseley | London: If you can get through the nightclubesque crowds outside, this architectural gem is an oasis. We enjoyed a high tea spread higher than our faces. And while we’ve had better high teas across the colonies, it’s still one of the boys’ favorite pastimes. This was the only preplanned stop on the food tour, and was the opposite of the Barbie pink granny chic options splashed all over the Gram. A stylishly smart choice for a table of boys.
TNQ | Manchester: Jacob and I sat down for our first solo lunch and had the entire place to ourselves on a Monday in The North Quarter (TNQ). He had a beautiful plate of seafood spaghetti. The sherry-marinated figs with whipped goats cheese was bussin’.
The Refuge | Manchester: Said quick-and-dirty researcher noticed this restaurant made all of the Pinterest lists. And wouldn’t you know… as we exited our Uber, there it was, connected to our hotel lobby. This might be when I converted the entire tour to shared plates. Jacob declared the gochujang-glazed pork belly fire. Ask about the prix fixe. Get the Pollen Bakery sourdough with black garlic butter, and the sticky toffee pudding. Skip the corn ribs and the lamb flatbread. Mid. The space was spectacular. Open Table reservation recommended.
Mackie Mayor | Manchester: The most photogenic food court you’ll ever find. Pick a spot to sit, memorize the number, and leave your traveling companion or a possession you can live without to guard your spot. The pizza was delicious. I regret not getting one of the donuts at the coffee counter. Manchester’s Mackie Mayor’s closed Mondays. Say that three times fast…
Cafe 1881 | Manchester: I once had the best hot chocolate of my life in Oxford. At a Starbucks. Sad but true. Jacob had the best hot chocolate of his life outside the Manchester Cathedral at this place. Full cup of miniature marshmallows included.
Skosh | York: We took a day trip to York and walked much of the medieval wall surrounding the town. Netflix has covered centuries of terror as the Vikings frequented this English enclave. Skosh is special. Open Table reservation recommended. The food is the opposite of Vikings Valhalla… delicate and fresh.
Tahi | Manchester: We ate our final Mancunian brunch here, though it claims to be a New Zealand Eatery. Everything was impressive, but their pastries were fussin’. (Fire plus bussin’, yeah? My boys love when I use their lingo and then make it my own….) Jacob ate something called a Vanilla Suisse and then placed a second order to go. Nate was so happy. Apparently they weren’t serving exquisite pastries at football camp.
El Gato Negro | Manchester: Man City had an unbelievable wealth of Spanish restaurants. And after convincing Jacob we should only tapear, I realized he’d never had Spanish food in his entire life. Which is 10% my fault and 90% San Luis Obispo’s fault. Tapearing is the Spanglish verb for eating tapas… little small plates of food invented by Spaniards to keep the bar patrons soberish. My love for all things small is well-documented. I’d only eat apps if that was an option, so it was inevitable the Foodcillo Family Food Tour would morph into tapearing around England. We had croquetas, tortilla española, and octopus. But the star was the wild mushrooms on toast.
For a kid constantly working on his toast restaurant concept, this was it. Pure fire. It’s too bad there weren’t any beans…