It’s Friday and everyone’s happier on Fridays. It’s a thing. The boys headed off to school. I had a short break to run some errands. James took a walk around the grass outside with Nonna and Aunt Laurie. And this afternoon, we had a video call with Dr. Uslander.
My longtime loyal reader can certainly attest that this is not an activist blog. Rarely do I use it as a place to argue a perspective or rail against <insert crazy world problem here>. But over the last few weeks, James and I have learned a lot about a lot. And there are some things that would have been easier to digest waaaaaay before ever having received the worst news of our lives so many years ago.
One of those things is the California End of Life Option Act or EOLOA. It’s a law that went into effect in 2016 and was amended in January of this year. I knew that Oregon had this law, but wasn’t aware that we’ve also had it on the books for almost seven years. Ultimately, it allows a terminally ill patient to choose the ability to get a prescription they can drink that puts them to sleep forever. It provides people with a level of control, dignity, and compassion during the hardest and most uncertain experience of their lives.
While at the hospital and weighing all of the options, we asked countless doctors and nurses for more information. We got stricken eyes obscured by medical masks. We got evasive answers. We got stuttering and sidestepping and elusive procrastination. Every California health system has a website dedicated to supporting this option, but in practice, the stigma was palpable. I was stunned. We can’t have more compassion for our animals than we do for our loved ones.
Having spent eight straight days at one of the world’s premier medical institutions, confronting the most complex and deadly diseases imaginable, embracing leading science and the most current philosophies and practices— how could they be so inept? When you’re watching your very best friend in the entire world suffer intolerable pain, you can only think about making sure they have access to every option available.
Somehow we are insanely fortunate to know people who know people and we were connected to the kindest doctor out of San Diego less than twenty minutes after a conversation with my next door neighbor. This doctor is an expert and an advocate for this unspoken work. He brought deep professionalism, caring, and the gift of his complete attention and time. As we wrapped-up today’s consultation, James said he likes having a plan that he can execute against. He emphasized how the conversation brought him a sense of control, certainty, and peace.
And that’s all I can ask for my very best friend.