I’m certain I’ve mentioned the amount of quizzing that takes place around this place, but I’m not entirely sure people really appreciate how much I’m constantly being tested. Not just my patience, but primarily my knowledge of weird animal facts, planets, my ability to add and multiply long strings of random digits, and my command of super hero facts. Jacob agrees the math quizzes are relentless.
Last weekend we were walking past my favorite town art cow… Hulk Cow… when I found myself immediately eyeball deep in a superhero pop quiz.
“Mom. Mom. Can you name all the Avengers?”
“Thor!”
“Yes…” they all say, anticipating my epic fail.
“Odin!”
“Noooooo, Mooooom.” Eyeballs rolling and shoulders ughing.
“Ha ha. I’m just messing with you. Iron Man?”
And of course the rest of my guesses are entirely wrong and I decide to throw-out any and all superhero names I can even remotely recall. Captain Underpants! Frozone! Extra exasperation points.
I’ve decided to do some quick research and create a Mama Cheat Sheet to be accessed covertly on my phone as I pretend to search my backpack for my blank Scantron and #2 pencil:
Justice League: Aquaman, Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Martian Manhunter. I’ve got this one. Solid. These are clearly the A-list superheroes, though that last one never caught on, right? Either that, or aliens sucked him out of all mainstream marketing.
Avengers: Black Panther, Black Widow, Captain America, Ms. Marvel, Hawkeye, Hulk, Iron Man, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Woman, Thor, and some randoms that I don’t even think should count including Falcon, Hank Pym (huh?), Luke Cage (who are these superheros with 1970’s guy names?), Quicksilver, Vision, Wasp and Wonder Man. There appear to be a number of power couples in the Avengers world. Spiderman appears to be some kind of lone wolf spider.
X-Men: I don’t recognize a single X man, X woman or X child. Except maybe Wolverine and Storm? This cheat sheet is beginning to peter out… Peter is Spiderman. I know that much.
Google and Wikipedia have surfaced no less than one hundred and fifty superhero teams. My confidence to cram and ace the next unannounced test is waning faster than a speeding bullet. I am feeling exceptionally confident that I’ve got Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack stone cold memorized.
Yesterday I give Jake a little taste of is own medicine.
“Hey Jake. What’s a barrette?”
“Uh… I think it’s a kind of food?”
Hand Mr. Martian Manhunter a baguette. My work is done here.