It was one of those Halloweens where we were ahead of the game:
Costumes? Check. Two identical zombie hunters.
Something to pass out? Check. Let’s do plastic witch fingers.
Decorations? Check. Why buy yellow “Caution” tape when they sell red “DANGER” tape?
But when I saved up all of our normal household necessities not found at Whole Paycheck such as electric toothbrush heads, socks, powerful dishwashing detergent, and real peanut butter, the zombie hunter costumes were only in size 10-12. I checked everywhere. Clearly the market hadn’t anticipated four-to-six-year-old zombie hunters. And so Jacob turned to the Chasing Fireflies catalog for inspiration. Which is like turning to Louis Vuitton.
And then in the course of a week, we lost our lead and we were now very, very behind.
We had one rough night full of fits and lamentations about “cool” Star Wars clone costumes. And only the $100 Chasing Fireflies Clone Trooper costume with the $16 Clone Trooper Blaster was cool and the smorgasbord of $30 clone costumes was not cool and no he did not want to break his $100 bill which has been squirreled away in a cupboard since he was three even though I offered to split it with him and he was not going trick-or-treating and had decided to skip Halloween entirely.
Nate was Nate. Willing to switch to “Dark Vader” no questions asked… “I want to be what Jacob is.”
The Trick or Trace festival was in two days and we had nothing. Unless I could talk them back into last year’s ankle-flaunting dragon ensembles. But after the long night of costume commotion, Jake woke up the next day and declared it the year of the Black Ninja. Most likely because ninjas are known for their weapons.
And what kind of country do we live in where you can decide you want to be a ninja on Thursday night and thus your wish is granted by 2:55pm the following day? The United States of Amazon you spoiled weapons-loving martial artists.
That Saturday James and I took the two stealth ninjas to the Trick or Trace festival. They had a blast. Nate visibily shocked the big kids running the carnival games when he threw a true ringer at the ping pong fish bowl stand. The ball swirled around the bowl like a heat-seeking missile… Then he proceeded to nail the bean bag dinosaur toss.
My favorite part was when I had to return that afternoon to staff Hogwart’s Castle. Imagine a big blow-up castle attached to an enormous Quik Shade Commercial Canopy completely transformed into a dark Harry Potter Wonderland. I kid you not, as I packed it up at the end of the day, the boxes were labeled: Griffindor’s Lounge, Potions Class, and Flourish and Blotts Bookstore. One family had clearly been collecting Harry Potter furnishings for years, maybe a decade. There were even real bookshelves and an actual dresser.
My shift at Hogwart’s consisted of acting as bouncer at the front door– collecting tickets and running off three-year-old packs of princesses trying to sneak in based on the merits of their precious dimples and sparkly gowns. It started to get windy and the blow-up castle began to get a little squirrelly. I spent a good ninety minutes literally holding down the fort.
But the best part of the day was when a four-year-old hulk gave me his tickets and braved the spooky castle by himself. A big gust of wind came along and the castle blew to the side quite dramatically.
The hulk came back through the front door like a shot– his eyes as big as saucers.
Now this is Halloween.
Dead Or Else
No Parents Allowed