True Detective

On Sunday night, it was the season finale of the latest HBO television phenomenon, True Detective.  If you’ve found that, recently, you’re having trouble following the normal office banter or morning radio show repartee, it’s time to get with the program.

If you are really far behind, start with Breaking Bad.  Then you can graduate to Orange is the New Black.  I’d also recommend The Americans.  Though not as well known, putting this suggestion out there may get you back on the offensive.   If you never saw The Sopranos, there’s probably no hope for you.

Let me be clear— these shows are not for the faint-hearted.  My trick is to cover my ears during the intense/scary/I-don’t-need-that-in-my-brain parts.  It’s amazing how much less disturbing things are without the soundtrack.

So, once you’ve been fairly desensitized to violence and the most cringe-worthy elements of human society, you can now enjoy True Detective starring Woody from Cheers and the newly appreciated character acting skills of Matthew McConahottie.  I’m told the cast will change next season.  I don’t yet know how I feel about that.

For those of you who are still watching network television, I will be careful not to spoil this for you.  But, I do want to set your expectations appropriately.  In summary, it’s a crime show.  I guess maybe you got that from the title.  But, here’s what makes it different— they’ve taken pieces of all the other good shows and movies and mixed them up into 8 episodes of binge-worthy viewing pleasure.

Here’s the formula, though this series is not formulaic:

A dynamic Castle detective cop duo + a Sons of Anarchy motorcycle gang + The Wire drug gang + a Breaking Bad meth cook + corrupt government House of Cards-esque officials + the supernatural gifts of The Sixth Sense + my worst Hoarders nightmare of a house + piles of filthy Chucky dolls + mysterious pagan symbolism à la The Davinci Code + those incredibly disturbing sticks from The Blair Witch Project + the creepy music from Lost + the cinematography of a movie = the show everybody is talking about.

It’s hard to tell, but I really do like this series.  It’s really good.  The only thing that would’ve made it better is if they had added colorful yarn to their evidence wall.  You know, when they take string and use it to show the relationship between all their clues?  I love that.

When the finale was finally over and my neck was aching from cringing through an hour of intense crime drama and action, I was not ready or able to hit the hay.  I needed something to erase the images that had been burned into my brain.  What to do… What to do…

“Hey James, want to watch an episode of Max and Ruby?”

Max and Ruby; photo courtesy of Milk and Cuddles.