High Dive

It appears I make rash, questionable decisions early in the morning.  Specifically in the 6:00 hour.  And maybe more specifically when it comes to The Facebook.

You may remember I joined the social network almost exactly three months ago, with the sole purpose of helping my dad create a group of people that he can invite to Happy Valley’s 150th birthday party… planned for 2015?  I’m not entirely sure.  Like I said, it was really early.

So I get on the FB and I need to get used to it before I do advanced, fancy things like making groups or pages or contacting people from the fourth grade, right?  I look around and can’t seem to find “the wall” I’ve heard everyone talking about.  Plus it wants me to put movies I’ve watched under my profile… A) I grew up in BFE, miles away from any Blockbuster and B) Now I only get to watch Tivo’ed versions of old Pixar movies.  This would not be a good use of time.  More importantly, it would just further bolster James’ case of my pop culture ignorance.  Back-off Buddy.  I may have missed Footloose, but I’m a child of the forest and I know how to make a mean lizard noose out of rattlesnake grass.

So I’m kind of wading around in the shallow end of the Facebook pool.  I’m cool with my water wings and my timeline and my sprinkling of friends.  It appears many of my closest friends are also technology late adopters/laggards/Instagrannies.  This is probably an entirely different post requiring further analysis…

So I’m wading around and then I see this 20 foot high dive platform at the other end of the pool and I’m like, “Yes.  It’s 6am and I think I’ll start a group for my high school class reunion a year and a half from now.  And what the heck… while I’m at it, I’ll start the group for Happy Valley since that’s the whole reason I’m looking at this website at 6:22am on a Tuesday.”  But instead of just jumping off the platform, I’d say yesterday was more like that movie, Wild Hearts Can’t be Broken.  I jump off that high dive.  On a horse.  Aiming for a bucket of water.

And the high school group reaches 75 members in a day and it seems like magic.  But of course my technology laggard friends have all sorts of statistics and benchmarks that bring out my competitive nature.  The class four years before us got 166 people to join their reunion group.  And our graduating class had 247 (how does she know this?).  Alas, I did not make my goal of 100 in a single day, but I got pretty close.  If this was swimming lessons, I might even get an O-fish-al Seahorse ribbon for effort, or most improved.  No one really wants the most improved award though, do they?

I have to say, all of this swimming around on Facebook makes me feel a little bit dirty.  I don’t know why— is that strange?  If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a shower.  Which reminds me of one of my favorite Halloween costumes of all time— Karate Kid, anyone?

See James.  I also do an impressive crane kick… Pashaw.