Job Interview

He waits nervously in the lobby as employees stream through the front door of the modern steel office building.  His new dress shoes feel stiff as he tries to fold his Wall Street Journal back into a neat square but only partially succeeds… iPads are so much better.

A young woman passes through the glass security turnstyle, introduces herself and leads him up 5 floors to her manager’s office.

He runs his finger inside the back of his collar, looks up from under his eyebrows and gives the hiring manager a winning smile and a firm handshake.

“Good morning, I’m Will.  It’s great to meet you.”

“Good morning, Will.  Margaret.  Please have a seat.  I’m in a bit of a rush today… I have 15 minutes when I thought I had 45, you know how it is.  So, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself.”

The sun streams in through her standard-issue mini-blinds.  He squints from the glare.

“Sure, sure.  Well, I’m very interested in the open role on your team.  As you may know, I’ve just finished grad school right across the bay.  My current role is in operations, but I’m looking to use my new industry knowledge and skills in more of a strategy capacity.”

“I see.  Terrific.  You’re familiar with behavioral based interviews?”

“I am.”

“Excellent, then let’s get to it.  Can you tell me about a time when you influenced a policy with which you did not agree?”

“Sure.  An example that comes to mind was in my previous job.  We had a policy that required customers to purchase a service agreement for each of their locations.  I successfully negotiated both internally and externally to adjust this policy, resulting in one consolidated agreement that saved both the company and the customer significant time and money.”

“I see.  Good example.  Just before you got here I was doing a bit of background Internet research on you and came across your mom’s blog… She calls it sKIDmarks?  Memorable title.  I thought perhaps you were going to tell me about rebelling against your preschools’ ‘no biting’ policy… Guess that turned out OK in the end, right?!”

“You found my mom’s blog, huh?”

“OK, Will.  Can you describe a time when you were faced with stresses that tested your coping skills?… and I’m not hinting for you to tell me what led up to that incident when you were two and defecated on your mom’s friends’ carpet— though I’m sure there’s a story behind that one, am I right?”

The room was beginning to get hot.  He shifted in his chair.

“Wow, you, uh, really read back a ways…  so, um, what was the question?  Oh, I remember, a stressful time that tested my coping skills…  not including this conversation, right? (nervous laughter)

Well, in grad school I worked in a group of four to complete our final project, a detailed strategic business plan analyzing the future of Pinterest.  One week before it was due, we found out that a key team member had a family emergency and hadn’t finished her piece.  I quickly convened the team, we evaluated the work done to date and agreed what was most critical.  I then led the team to divide the remaining section and complete the project on time.  The final result was an “A” and an invitation from our professor to present our findings at the next on campus student summit.”

“Good, good.  Just one more question Will and then I’ve got to scoot to my next meeting.  So, we all make mistakes.  Tell me about a time where you made a mistake and what you did to resolve the situation.  Of course, I’m thinking that incident at Starbuck’s when you were three and inappropriately rubbed your mother’s backside probably wouldn’t be the best example to share.” (inappropriate guffaw)

“What?  You read that on her blog?  I’ll tell you about a mistake.  My mother having access to a computer and the ability to chronicle my every childhood embarrassment.  Now that’s a mistake.  I’m sorry I have a phone call to make.  Thank you for your time.”

(laughing uncontrollably)  “Thanks for coming by… needless to say, I don’t think this went that well…  I’d shake your hand, but I read about that time you dropped your pacifier in the loo and then popped it straight back in your mouth…”