Operation: Hi Hi Nigh-Nigh

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to institute the nigh-nigh. 

People with babies that don’t have a plastic plug in their mouth always say the same thing, “My baby just won’t take it” they shrug.  “Just won’t take a pacifier.”

Honestly, I thought I was going to be one of those parents.  Whereas Jake came back from the hospital nursery, less than 24 hours old, expertly sucking on a little white Nuk… Nate did not.  As Jakey is always saying, “Baby Nake ‘pit it out.  ‘Pit out his nigh-nigh.”

But now I know all those parents are really just quitters.  Plain and simple.  They wuss out after the baby spits the pacifier onto the floor 300 times and just give up.  There’s no such slacking in this household, Soldier!  What?  He’s four months old and still won’t take it?  Try harder!  And give me twenty.

Now, it’s hard to believe that after the suspenseful drama of Operation: Bye Bye Nigh-Nigh, we would actually aspire to implement Operation: Hi Hi Nigh-Nigh, but it is absolutely true.

At first I was on the fence.  Why introduce yet another baby prop?  Something to forget, fall on the ground, grope around for in the middle of the night with your eyes shut…

But then, just after the week o’ train shame, I saw an opportunity and I seized it.  There was just something about the way Nathaniel was sucking on his lower lip that made me think, “This is my chance.  It’s now or never.”  I leapt into the fray, guns a blazing.  And he took it.  He kind of loved it.  I put it in his mouth and his little eyes instantaneously closed and contented baby snores followed.  Hi Hi Nigh-Nigh.

We’ve had only A+ train rides ever since.  So far?  Totally worth it.

And as always, should you or any of your IM Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.  This message will self-destruct in the event that the Operation is overly successful and Nate won’t give it up till he’s sixteen.  Then we’ll formulate an elaborate cover-up story and blame it on Grandma…