No It All

Jakey and Natesy had their first joint birthday party this weekend.  It was 70 degrees, there were ponies, an alpaca, a log cabin, family, great friends and cupcakes.  Perfect.

If Nate ever becomes a rapper… after he finishes college of course… his stage name should be Baby Nake-D.

Am I right?

I’ve been in a bit of a funk this past week.  I think it’s because tomorrow, my little baby, turns 1!

One year old is definitely the tipping point where you look at them and all of a sudden you think, “Awww, he looks like a little boy.”  With Jakey I got extra time because he really didn’t have any hair.  It prolonged babyhood for just a bit.  But Natesy got his very first haircut from Toni on February 13th… just 17 days shy of his birthday.  I think Jake’s first haircut was just a week or two shy of his second birthday.  Granted she only charged us $5 and Natesy still has less hair than his cousin Devon was born with, but still, he won’t be a baby for very much longer.

Just in the past couple of weeks he’s started to show signs of the teenage years of toddlerhood.  He does this new thing where he lays flat on his stomach, stretches his arms out and cries.  You have to be careful not to laugh.  And he’s started shaking his head no.  You know you’re entering a new phase when he thinks it’s hilarious to shake his head no.

Today, Teacher Linda W. said he’s been standing in his crib, jumping and shaking the bars so hard that they think it’s a safety hazard.  Let’s not forget, Nakezilla is the calm one.

Tomorrow they’re going to teach him to sleep on a big boy cot at naptime.  *sigh*

This afternoon, Nakesy worked on breaking into the Mickey Mouse lunchbox for at least 20 minutes, maybe 30.  This one has amazing concentration.

He tried fiddling with the latch.  He tried turning it over and over and over… listening to the teeny tiny swallowable riches held within its tinny walls.  He even dropped it off the couch, like a monkey with a coconut.

He knows how to turn off light switches, he’s got combs and toilet flushers figured out.  Mickey doesn’t stand a chance.

On July 5th, 2010, I wrote about a regular sized tube of sparkly toothpaste that I thought Jake would be eating, I mean brushing with, till he was 18.  I’m a bit delayed in running these numbers, however, it looks as though my initial calculations were wrong.

He was able to use up the entire tube in 18 months.  Hmmm.  Now that I look at it, I did say 18…

I also just replaced his toothbrush with an Oral B designed for kiddos.  The packaging says in bold, and I quote, “For tooth brushing only.  Do not chew or bite on brush.”

I’m going to have to find a new go-to brand.  This one was clearly field tested in La La Land.

Jake has been giving Nate pony rides… it’s so freakin’ cute.  They invented it themselves.  Jake crawls on his hands and knees and then coaxes Nathaniel into holding on to the waistband of his pants and either walking or kneeling behind Jakey as he crawls along.  Sometimes JJ switches it up and gives donkey rides.

They say that babies this age don’t “play” with other kids, but Natesy has been playing with his older brother almost since the beginning.  Grandma said her favorite thing about Super Bowl Sunday, besides the most delicious Asian inspired ribs (I’ll have to post the recipe), was that Natesy came to wrestle when she was roughhousing Jacob on the floor.  Of course Nakezilla would never miss a match.

Although Nate loves playing with his older brother, I think he really loves Jake nap time.  Just this afternoon I found him sitting in the big toy drawer, frolicking in the forbidden toys , happy as a clam.

In the last 15 minutes he’s already bludgeoned Jake’s wooden fish with a ball before eating eat, claimed his brother’s sippy cup, manhandled the illicit mini rabbit hutch that could be a choking hazard and is now enjoying a long rectangular block like it’s a cigar.

Uh oh.  Swiper just woke-up.  All the good dangerous toys were just snatched-up and locked in the complex and impervious Mickey Mouse lunchbox.  All that’s left is an old truck from the ’50’s and some wooden tropical fruit.  Hasta mañana.

At Christmastime, Auntie Emily gave all the baby pirates their very own superhero capes.  Jake’s is red with a big blue J and Nate’s is green with a coordinating N.  Up until just recently, if you asked the big one what his name was, he always replied, “Jaycup!”  In the last couple of months, he’s finally started owning up to his nicknames.  Lately, he runs around the house as, “Super Jakey.”

We’ve noticed all of the cartoons have the following plot:  Baby animal or baby musical instrument or baby train loses Mommy.  Spend time looking for Mommy.  Find or rescue Mommy.  The End.  So I hear a lot of, “Mom, Mom.  I will rescue you!”

Two weekends ago I was out to dinner with my girlfriends.  I had to call home to talk to James but he was otherwise occupied.  Instead, I had the following conversation:

“Hi Jakey, can I talk to Daddy?”
“He says he’s busy.  I will help you Mama.”
“JJ, tell Daddy I need him to text me.”
“I will protect you Mama.”
“TEXT me.  I need Daddy to text me Andy’s phone number.”
“I will protect you.”
“You are the sweetest thing ever.  I love you.  Tell Daddy never mind.”

My Superhero.

Just when you think the Occupy movement has subsided, you encounter a resurgence in your own living room.

Their demands are unclear— something about “I want a jeep for my birthday.  I like green best.” and “More TeeeeeeeeeeVeeeeeeeeee.”  Every night we run them off and dismantle their camp… and every morning they’re back.

The quote of yesterday, “Happy Valentime’s Day, Mama!  Bring me my Christmas cards.  All of ’em.”  That Jakey.  He’s too much.

I was talking to my friend Jamie on my drive home last night and she told me her son Jack’s class was celebrating “Friendship Day.”  We both agreed between snorts of laughter… ree-dic-u-lous.  Those crazy Angelinos.  We wouldn’t want 2-year-olds “loving” each other too much on Valentine’s Day.

I got home and James made me my most favorite weeknight dinner.  We call it steak salad.  And chocolate fondue for dessert.  Needless to say, Jakey’s a fan of fondue.  Natesy, too.  Jake wouldn’t go to sleep and we could hear him talking… well yelling… in his sleep all night long.  Nate ate numerous chocolate dipped blueberries and then would not go to sleep.  He pops up like toast and now he can fling his bedroom door open so that his wailing increases in volume via hallway acoustic amplification.  I’m pretty sure I laid him back down about 25 times.

We love chocolate.  But I think we might love sleep more.

As James lays his head on Jakey, “Why is this pillow so lumpy?”

“Hello Daddy.”

“Why is my pillow talking to me?”

“Hey, I’m not a peelow.  I’m Jacob!”

James and Jakey act out this script word-for-word all the time.  I can never get it right.  Seelly Mama.