My guilty pleasure is America’s Next Top Model (ANTM). Tyra Banks gets more and more ridiculous every “cycle”, but James and I love singing to the new music at the end…. “top moooodel, top mooooodel.” It’s one of those songs you sing in your head all night long. This season…
Wanted: Baby Reprogrammer SDM (Sleep Deprived Mommy) seeks CBP (Ceritified Baby Reprogrammer) for coding, patch installation, and general maintenance of 4am WCS (Wake-up Call Service) in adjacent room. Guaranteed work twice per year during Daylight Saving Time. Operating system unknown; potentially Windows as is prone to crashing. Money is no object.
Candy! No silly. Baby giraffes (also known as calves) eat acacia trees. Yes, I had to google what giraffes eat as well as what their babies are called, after we were already in our costumes. Look how Jakey won’t take his eyes off that Almond Joy.
Question: WWFD: What Would Foochi Do? Answer: WWF: World Wrestling Federation. I’m not really sure what his stage name and costume would look like… Maybe a rabid squirrel with a cape? (Obviously given those cheeks and that drool.) But, I do know what his signature moves would be (written from…
We all have meltdowns on occasion. Preferably, we stagger them so that someone maintains a certain level of rational thinking and emotional stability. But really, who has time for strategic meltdown scheduling? So, a couple of days ago we noticed Jakey’s first tooth: lower front right– I should have asked Dr. Castro what…
It’s official. We are on the verge of a veritable coupe in children’s literature, mark my words. For over 60 years we have been told that “we LOOOOooooOOOOVE Goodnight Moon.” Apparently, we do not. Over the course of two days I overheard the following: Jakey’s Dad: This book is dumb. …
Saying Baby Jacob is a hungry kid is, well, an understatement. Some of his first nicknames centered around the easy to recognize “Piggy Face”, “Hungry Face”, and the infamous “Hand Samiches”. This hunger may have contributed to two incidents: 1) I experienced my first bout of Bad Mom Guilt thinking…
James is CEO of CIO. Chief Executive Officer of Cry-It-Out. The theory goes that after 3 to 4 nights of crying, babies stop whaling and sleep through the night. The theory fails to mention that CIO must be reimplemented after every cold, change in routine, or ethereal dental milestone. Today…
Jakey’s nails are dangerous. His dad likes to call them his “clavos” or “nails” in Spanish. Not the soft pearly nails that protect your delicate fingers. Nails like the sharp steel daggers people use to hold wood together. One day Teacher Linda C. showed me bloody scratches on her neck. …
Wow, I’m back. I think it takes 21 times to make something a habit… right? Hmmm, 19 more times to go. So Jakey’s new sound (maybe for about a week or so) is F. Up until now it’s mostly been G. When he was super little he would cry, “MmmmGee,…