wild*life

Jacob and I are in a strongly committed reading relationship.  Every morning and every night we read stories and it is so very special.  According to my iPad library, we’ve read 51 books since we moved to SLO in June of 2016.

We’re currently reading the latest in the Rick Riordan series on greek and roman gods and their shenanigans here on earth.  This is our 23rd book so… hope you’re enjoying that newly remodeled Texas mansion, Mr. Riordan.  You’re welcome.

In the latest book, Apollo has been sent back to earth as a dorky teenager named Lester Papadopoulos.  As the former god of archery, he has this weird arrow called the Arrow of Dodona that speaks to him in ye olde Shakespearean English.  I must admit I enjoy a good old-timey opportunity to speak as a British squire.  And so I present thee with the update of thy day:

Next up on ‘Ye Ode to Never Ending Projects’ doth be thy gopher pit… also known as thy front yard.  It doth appear I’ve been persuading thy labor to produceth a quote that is not of unsound mind as of four score and twelve months ago.

As thy luck would have it, thee labor’s calendar hath opened up upon the descendancy of thy plague of the Mexican ale.  Without thy lawn, thou small squires may loseth thy minds.  And so shall their parentage.

Thy economic meltdown and peril be damned.  Let them eat grass!

Last night was a Nate night.  He’s got a low tolerance for cabin fever.  Generally the first one to start acting loopy.  He dances around.  He can’t seem to focus.  The potty talk’s up.  The listening is down.  His mood swings are steeper than a bad Coronavirus curve.

Too soon?

So last night he’s hiding in the dark and jumps out at his brother, causing Jacob to stumble backwards and hurt his foot.  Some terse words and Nate escapes to his favorite hideout of shame– his closet.  I read books and as I’m tucking Jake in, I’m pretty sure Nate has snuck under his bed in the dark.

We check.  Jake reports that he’s fast asleep with his Man City blanket.  He tucks his pillow under his head and it’s lights out.

This morning I heard him wake-up with a bit of a bonk.

We’re all going a little bonkers.  Especially Natesy.

All of this time at home has brought back crafty James– the one who teaches himself latte art, screen prints original designs, makes his own wine and kombucha, and once sewed a pair of kid-sized jeans.

James continues building out his e-commerce offerings.  After selling multiple felt banners, and possibly inspired by a blackout during Week 1, he decided to make candles.  I volunteered to name his candles and write the descriptions.

Here’s what I’ve got so far…

Tiger King: This soothing scent is one part lavender, one part leather.  Erase the unease brought on by polygamous cub petting, pink camo, piercings, and padlocks.  Melt away the anxiety of flower crowns and fringe.  My purrsonal favorite.

Ozark: Does pandemic prison have you longing to throw on your trunks and head to the lake?  This candle conjures the ease of a day on the water with middle notes of teakwood.  As the evening turns to twilight, enjoy the warm scents of amber, vanilla, and beach bonfire.  Base notes of poppy and clean cash.

Narcos: Take your staycation up a notch.  This candle evokes the luxury of a certain lifestyle, minus the shootouts.  The perfect ambient addition to a Netflix binge or Zoom date.  Exotic notes of candied grapefruit may just have you popping the top on that White Claw a little early.

It’s finally Saturday.  Nate and I went to Pacheco and played soccer while James and Jake went to Home Depot.  We enjoyed a sunny day of yard work including the installation of some new house numbers, ripping out non-native ice plant, and propagating wildflowers.

Before we returned home, Nate stayed in the car while I waited in line outside the grocery store.  While others had various masks, medical gloves, and face coverings, not to worry: I had the black ninja face bra for protection.

Probably more effective from an intimidation standpoint.  Breath on me and “hiiigh-yah!”

One video.
Two days.
Three emails.
Hundreds changed.

Leadership.
Back-to-back.
Unknown colleagues in shock.
FAQs. Packets. Docusign. Pay4us.

Broken hearts, broken teams.
Could I still come back someday?
Emotionally spent.
Bob Jones paved in tears.

On Thursday I woke-up in the 5am hour, anticipating a work email that would set into motion just about the hardest week of my career.  I made some coffee and looked across our front yard in the early morning light.  Not only do I see a cat I’ve never seen before, ever.  But it’s also black.  Just moseying its way directly across the path I take from the house to the barn every, single, day.

Seriously.

This week on one of my calls, my work buddy, Thomas, brought some much needed humor to my day.

2020 is clearly trying too hard.
I mean really, she already had brand recognition going for her.
And the Olympics.
And a long awaited presidential election.
She was already special as a leap year.
Off to a fantastic start.
We were set to have our biggest year yet at work.
Plans for product development and our long awaited partner store.
But she wasn’t satisfied.  No, not 2020.
She just had to go for global pandemic.
Oh 2020.
So insecure.

Today is Tuesday.  It’s March 31st.  We’re a few days into Week 3 of house arrest.  And it doesn’t look like this is ending anytime soon.

Every morning during our team check-in Zoom, we do a roundtable.  A few days ago I started adding a new question to the update, in addition to each person’s focus for the day.

Yesterday I asked people to share the best thing they’d watched on TV over the weekend.  At least thirty percent of my team said something about a Netflix show called Tiger King.  They used words like wild and bizarre.  I smiled and nodded in that way that one learns to do having grown up in the boondocks without cable.  MTV?  Yeah, like, totally.

Not knowing what they were talking about, I envisioned some fictional series that was half Game of Thrones and half Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.  I mention it to James and he tells me he watched the first episode the night before and I should catch-up so we can watch it together.

Here I was, innocently looking for something to take my mind off the stress of the global health crisis and economic meltdown.

Two episodes in, a sleepless night, and now I need something to distract me from the insanity that is the Tiger King.

On Saturday, in one of our dozen daily ParentSquare notifications, a little gem came through announcing that school is definitely closed until May first.  Gone are the days when I couldn’t imagine three weeks without public education.  Oh how I wistfully look back on those March days with such fondness.

Today the Chorro girls text string went something like this:

MP: Teepee making at Palm Academy 😉

JB: Are you taking applications for April?

MP: Maybe boarding school for April?  Send all the kids to Alesia’s? J/K

JB: They’ll camp in the teepee 😉

Me: I’m looking for an alternative that combines Cuesta’s College for Kids with Kennolyn and soccer camp.  Willing to shell out thousands.  Awaiting the URL for signups.

AH: I will let Charles know Camp Crompton may have some signups.

Me: I already love the name.