We’ve been cruising along the freeway of parenthood for 15 months now.  Of course there have been some sections of the road that seem to be maintained by the City of San Jose, some nausea inducing curves, and a few times we may have been asleep at the wheel.

Just when we thought we’d hit that beautiful section of 280 where the tony people live, we noticed some bizarre baby behaviors.  We’ve been watching these scenes unfold like a car crash on the side of the road… you just can’t look away.  I’d say we’ve screeched to a halt at the El Monte bottleneck.  We are now just rubberneckers on the toddler turnpike.

* One night Jake took a block and hit himself in the head.  He then furrowed his brow and scowled, hitting himself again in the forehead with this block.  Then he was pissed.  At the block.  He threw it down and waved his little arm, slamming the evil block away, AWAY!  Stupid block.

* Jacob loves “bath time bath time.”  He likes to bathe with his two rubber bees (one is probably a butterfly, but really it’s more like a bee with fancy wings),  his rubber flower, and the round green plastic soap cap that does double duty as a cup.  It’s round so it’s also known as “ball.”  Jake will not stop drinking the bath water.  He leans down and laps it up.  Sometimes he drinks it from the green “ball.”  “Yucky” is ineffectual.  The other night he decided he was thirsty, after we’d washed his hair.  He drank the soapy water, ignoring my advice.  Then he was pissed.  At the water.  He slapped his hand at the water and waved his little arm, sending tidal waves of evil water away, AWAY!  Stupid water.

* Jakey recently made up a new game.  It involves taking any giant blanket-like covering, such as a towel, an afghan, curtains… and creating a big self-inflicted blindfold.  He thinks it is so funny to walk around like a little zombie with his arms out.  One morning when I wasn’t there to stop little dangerous “Ghost Jakey” he tripped and fell into the bed, skinning and bruising the bridge of his button nose.  Then he was pissed.  At the bed AND the towel.  He slapped his hand at the bed and waved his little arm, swatting the heaviest bed in the world away, AWAY!  Stupid bed.

* A few weeks back we were playing with Jake’s computer, which is an old giant Dell doorstop.  He leaned over multiple times to kiss the screen.

Rubberneckers.  Can you blame ’em?


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